Harris County's public hospitals apparently have a problem with doctors not washing their hands or wearing gloves -- so the hospital district is asking patients to "gently remind" their docs to do so, The Chronicle reports this morning.

So, let me get this straight: I'm laid up in the hospital bed, in terrible pain and wearing a backless gown, or blitzed out of my mind on painkillers, or fretting about how I don't have health insurance and can't pay the bills (and the hospital will probably charge me $20 for the Kleenex I blew my nose on), and I'm supposed to have presence of mind to remind my doctor to wash his/her hands?

What about when I'm under anesthesia -- am I supposed to come around and look up from the hospital bed at the surgeon and talk to him, like Kermit the Frog used to do on the "Veterinarian's Hospital" sketches on The Muppet Show -- and say, "Hey, Doc, don't forget to wash your hands before you cut on me!"

Some more reminders:
+ Hey, Doc, don't forget to sew me back up again!
+ Hey, Doc, don't forget to make sure you're taking out the correct kidney!
+ Hey, Doc, now that you've taken out 12 inches of my colon, don't forget to connect the loose ends up again!
+ Hey, Doc, this is a transplant operation -- you're not finished after you take out my heart! You have to put the new one in, too!